Making Friends as an Adult, One Hike at a Time

So, here I am—a proud Alaskan transplant—navigating my way through the sun-soaked, red rock wonderland of Utah. It’s funny how, as a kid, making friends was as simple as chatting with the person next to you in math class.

But as an adult? Making friends feels like a daunting, stressful challenge. Seriously, what happened to just saying, “I like your shoes!” and instantly bonding over a shared love of glitter and scratch-and-sniff stickers?

When I packed up and moved to Utah, I quickly realized I needed to step up my social game. Back in Alaska, I had 20 years of friendships built during specific seasons of life—parenthood, work, and more. I was comfortable, surrounded by my people.

Then came the move. Suddenly, I didn’t know a single soul. I was like a lone Alaskan midlife penguin stranded in a desert—lost, confused, and desperately wishing for cooler climates.

Enter the Wine Hiking Society. When I stumbled upon this group, I knew I had struck gold. Wine? Hiking? A chance to bond with like-minded women who consider waking up at the butt-ass crack of dawn to go hiking fun? Sign me up!

I envisioned myself laughing, bonding, and possibly making lifelong friends who would help me navigate this new land of sunburns and tumbleweeds. I followed the group for quite some time before actually signing up for an event.

Then, one day, I felt “ready.” I was committed to making new connections and was open to form new female friendships. Last I checked, new friends don’t show up at your front door like your Amazon packages do.

On my first outing, I arrived at the trailhead feeling nervous. I’m as social as they come, but I didn’t know a single person who would be there—and, man, that felt scary. It honestly felt like I was packing for a first date—nervous, excited, and definitely overthinking it.

As I approached the group, I was greeted by a row of women who looked like… well… me. It was a November hike in the snow, and since I’d just moved from Alaska, I was in my element.

Except for one thing—I was out of breath.

I kept thinking, “Why are they hiking so fast?” But soon it hit me. The one big difference between Alaska and Utah? Altitude. These women weren’t actually hiking that fast—I was hiking… slow.

Molly, one of the hikers, hung back with me. She explained how the altitude could kick your ass if you weren’t used to it and told me all about her love for teaching yoga. We fell into a deep conversation as we made our way to the overlook.

At the top, another WWHS member, Allie, offered me a rum ball—or several—and I was handed a sticker for completing my first hike. I left that day with a new friend, Molly, to thank for helping me make it to the finish line.

As we sipped our drinks, got covered with fresh snow, shared stories, and ate more of Allie’s rum balls, I learned that one woman had met her best friend from this group, while another had just recovered from a major surgery. These tales were gems, and I knew I had found my tribe. The initial awkwardness dissipated, and soon we were all laughing like we had known each other for years—or at least since the last time we drank wine in the wilderness. I could NOT wait to do this again.

And again and again, I did. Each outing, I made a point of connecting with someone new.

Shortly after my first hike, I made a new Utah “bestie,” Kateri. We connected instantly—like that scene in Step Brothers where he says, “Did we just become best friends?” Yup, we did. We exchanged numbers and stayed in touch after the hike.

That’s the hard part—maintaining the connections you make. Think of new friendships as little houseplants. You have to water, fertilize, and care for them to grow and blossom (if they’re the flowering kind).

Kateri, thank you for now being my giant monstera. You’ve become a big, beautiful presence in my life that I gladly make space for.

As adults, we’re ALL busy, but don’t be too busy for the gems in your life. Even if it’s just sharing TikToks 10 times a day, it’s worth it.

Now, I even have a contact list full of phone numbers that start with WWHS before the first name—a reminder of the amazing connections I’ve built.

So here’s to adult friendships! Embrace the awkwardness, keep your sense of humor intact, and remember this: every new friend has a story to tell, and sometimes, those stories are just as funny as the journey you took to find them.

If you find yourself in a new place (or just a new season of life)  and feeling like a lone penguin, all you need is adventure in your heart, a trail, and a willingness to laugh at yourself.

And who knows? You might just find your tribe, too—one sip at a time!

Looking for more inspiring tales from the trail? Check out one these blog posts:

• Embracing the Gift of Gratitude: Hiking at 52 and Finding Joy in Every Step

• Lessons from a Slow Hiker: Embracing Your Place on the Trail

• Solo Adventuring: Finding Power in Adventuring Alone

Have you made a friend through this group? Login and tell us how you two met below!

Cherie Zajdzinski

Salt Lake County (UT) Ambassador